The scene is the same as Act II. It is the next morning. The
time is about eight-thirty. VICTOR and SIBYL have drawn the two
sofas across the doors Right, and Left, and are stretched on
them, asleep. VICTOR is in front of AMANDA'S door, and SIBYL in
front of ELYOT'S.
The room is in chaos, as it was left the night before.
As the curtain rises, there is the rattling of a key in the lock
of the front door, and LOUISE enters. She is rather a frowsy-
looking girl, and carries a string bag with various bundles of
eatables crammed into it, notably a long roll of bread, and a
lettuce. She closes the door after her, and in the half light trips
over the standard lamp lying on the floor. She puts her string
bag down, and gropes her way over to the window. She draws
the curtains, letting sunlight stream into the room. When she
looks round, she gives a little cry of horror. Then she sees VICTOR and SIBYL sleeping peacefully, and comes over and scrutinizes
each of them with care, then she shakes SIBYL by the shoulder
SIBYL [waking]: Oh dear.
LOUISE: Bon jour, Madame.
SIBYL [bewildered]: What?--Oh--bon jour.
LOUISE: Qu'est-ce que vous faites ici, Madame?
SIBYL: What--what?--Wait a moment, attendez un instant--
oh dear--
VICTOR [sleepily]: What's happening? [jumping up] Of course, I
remember now. [He sees LOUISE] Oh!
LOUISE [firmly]: Bon jour, Monsieur.
VICTOR: Er--bon jour--What time is it?
LOUISE [rather dully]: Eh, Monsieur?
SIBYL [sitting up on the sofa]: Quelle heure est-il, s'il vous plait?
LOUISE: C'est neuf heures moins dix, Madame.
VICTOR: What did she say?
SIBYL: I think she said nearly ten o'clock.
VICTOR [taking situation in hand]: Er--voulez--er--wake-- reveillez Monsieur et Madame--er--toute suite?
LOUISE [shaking her head]: Non, Monsieur. Il m'est absolument
defendu de les appeler jusqu'a ce qu'ils sonnent.
[She takes her bag and goes off into the kitchen. VICTOR and SIBYL look at each other helplessly.]
SIBYL: What are we to do?
VICTOR [with determination]: Wake them ourselves.
[He goes towards AMANDA'S door.]
SIBYL: No, no, wait a minute.
VICTOR: What's the matter?
SIBYL [plaintively]: I couldn't face them yet, really, I couldn't; I feel
dreadful.
VICTOR: So do I. [He wanders gloomily over to the window] It's a lovely
morning.
SIBYL: Lovely.
[She bursts into tears.]
VICTOR [coming to her]: I say, don't cry.
SIBYL: I can't help it.
VICTOR: Please don't, please-
SIBYL: It's all so squalid; I wish we hadn't stayed; what's the use?
VICTOR: We've got to see them before we go back to England, we
must get things straightened out.
SIBYL [sinking down on to the sofa]: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, I wish I
were dead.
VICTOR: Hush, now, hush. Remember your promise. We've got to
see this through together and get it settled one way or another.
SIBYL [sniffling]: I'll try to control myself, only I'm so ... so tired, I
haven't slept properly for ages.
VICTOR: Neither have I.
SIBYL: If we hadn't arrived when we did, they'd have killed one
another.
VICTOR: They must have been drunk.
SIBYL: She hit him.
VICTOR: He'd probably hit her, too, earlier on.
SIBYL: I'd no idea anyone ever behaved like that; it's so
disgusting, so degrading, Elli of all people -- oh dear
[She almost breaks down again, but controls herself.]
VICTOR: What an escape you've had.
SIBYL: What an escape we've both had.
[AMANDA opens her door and looks out. She is wearing travelling
clothes, and is carrying a small suitcase. She
jumps, upon seeing SIBYL and VICTOR.]
AMANDA: Oh!--good morning.
VICTOR [with infinite reproach in his voice]: Oh, Amanda.
AMANDA: Will you please move this sofa, I can't get out.
[VICTOR moves the sofa, and she advances into the room and
goes towards the door.]
VICTOR: Where are you going?
AMANDA: Away.
VICTOR: You can't.
AMANDA: Why not?
VICTOR: I want to talk to you.
AMANDA [wearily]: What on earth is the use of that?
VICTOR: I must talk to you.
AMANDA: Well, all I can say is, it's very inconsiderate.
[She plumps the bag down by the door and comes down to VICTOR.]
VICTOR: Mandy, I...
AMANDA [gracefully determined to rise above the situation]: I
suppose you're Sibyl; how do you do? [SIBYL turns her back
on her] Well, if you're going to take up that attitude, I fail to
see the point of your coming here at all.
SIBYL: I came to see Elyot.
AMANDA: I've no wish to prevent you; he's in there, probably
wallowing in an alcoholic stupor.
VICTOR: This is all very unpleasant, Amanda.
AMANDA: I quite agree, that's why I want to go away.
VICTOR: That would be shirking; this must be discussed at length.
AMANDA: Very well, if you insist, but not just now, I don't
feel up to it. Has Louise come yet?
VICTOR: If Louise is the maid, she's in the kitchen.
AMANDA: Thank you. You'd probably like some coffee, excuse me a
moment.
[She goes off into the kitchen.]
SIBYL: Well! How dare she?
VICTOR [irritably]: How dare she what?
SIBYL: Behave so calmly, as though nothing had happened.
VICTOR: I don't see what else she could have done.
SIBYL: Insufferable I call it.
[ELYOT opens his door and looks out.]
ELYOT [seeing them]: Oh God.
[He shuts the door again quickly].
SIBYL: Elyot--Elyot-[She rushes over to the door and bangs
on it] Elyot--Elyot--Elyot
ELYOT [inside]: Go away.
SIBYL [falling on to the sofa]: Oh, oh, oh.
[She bursts into tears again.]
VICTOR: Do pull yourself together for heaven's sake.
SIBYL: I can't, I can't -- oh, oh, oh
[AMANDA re-enters.]
AMANDA: I've ordered some coffee and rolls, they'll be here
soon. I must apologize for the room being so untidy.
[She picks up a cushion, and pats it into place on the sofa.
There is a silence except for SIBYL'S sobs. AMANDA looks at
her, and then at VICTOR; then she goes off into her room again,
and shuts the door.]
VICTOR: It's no use crying like that, it doesn't do any good.
[After a moment, during which SIBYL makes renewed efforts to
control her tears, ELYOT opens the door immediately behind
her, pushes the sofa, with her on it, out of the way, and walks
towards the front door. He is in travelling clothes, and carrying
a small suitcase.]
SIBYL [rushing after him]: Elyot, where are you going?
ELYOT: Canada.
SIBYL: You can't go like this, you can't.
ELYOT: I see no point in staying.
VICTOR: You owe it to Sibyl to stay.
ELYOT: How do you do, I don't think we've met before.
SIBYL: You must stay, you've got to stay.
ELYOT: Very well, if you insist. [He plumps his bag down]
I'm afraid the room is in rather a mess. Have you seen the
maid Louise?
VICTOR: She's in the kitchen.
ELYOT: Good. I'll order some coffee.
[He makes a movement towards the kitchen.]
VICTOR [stopping him]: No, your--er--my--er--Amanda has
already ordered it.
ELYOT: Oh, I'm glad the old girl's up and about.
VICTOR: We've got to get things straightened out, you know.
ELYOT [looking around the room]: Yes, it's pretty awful. We'll get
the concierge up from downstairs.
VICTOR: You're being purposely flippant, but it's no good.
ELYOT: Sorry.
[He lapses into silence.]
VICTOR [after a pause]: What's to be done?
ELYOT: I don't know.
SIBYL [with spirit]: It's all perfectly horrible. I feel smirched
and unclean as though slimy things had been crawling all
over me.
ELYOT: Maybe they have; that's a very old sofa.
VICTOR: If you don't stop your damned flippancy, I'll knock
your head off.
ELYOT [raising his eyebrows]: Has it ever struck you that
flippancy might cover a very real embarrassment?
VICTOR: In a situation such as this, it's in extremely bad taste.
ELYOT: No worse than bluster and invective. As a matter of
fact, as far as I know, this situation is entirely without precedent.
We have no prescribed etiquette to fall back upon. I shall continue
to be flippant.
SIBYL: Oh Elyot, how can you -- how can you.
ELYOT: I'm awfully sorry, Sibyl.
VICTOR: It's easy enough to be sorry.
ELYOT: On the contrary. I find it exceedingly difficult. I seldom
regret anything. This is a very rare and notable exception,
a sort of red letter day. We must all make the most of it.
SIBYL: I'll never forgive you, never. I wouldn't have believed
anyone could be so callous and cruel.
ELYOT: I absolutely see your point, and as I said before, I'm sorry.
[There is silence for a moment. Then AMANDA comes in again.
She has obviously decided to carry everything off in a high
handed manner.]
AMANDA [in social tones]: What! Breakfast not ready yet?
Really, these French servants are too slow for words. [She
smiles gaily] What a glorious morning. [She goes to the window]
I do love Paris, it's so genuinely gay. Those lovely trees
in the Champs Elysees, and the little roundabouts for the
children to play on, and those shiny red taxis. You can see
Sacre Coeur quite clearly today; sometimes it's a bit misty,
particularly in August, all the heat rising up from the
pavements you know.
ELYOT [drily]: Yes, dear, we know.
AMANDA [ignoring him]: And it's heavenly being so high up.
I found this flat three years ago, quite by merest chance.
I happened to be staying at the Plaza Athenee, just down the
road
ELYOT [enthusiastically]: Such a nice hotel, with the most
enchanting courtyard with a fountain that goes
plopplopplopplopplopplopplopplopplop
AMANDA [overriding him]: Now, Victor, I refuse to discuss
anything in the least important until after breakfast. I
couldn't concentrate now, I know I couldn't.
ELYOT [sarcastically]: What manner. What poise. How I envy
it. To be able to carry off the most embarrassing situation
with such tact, and delicacy, and above all--such subtlety.
Go on Amanda, you're making everything so much easier.
We shall all be playing Hunt the Slipper in a minute.
AMANDA: Please don't address me, I don't wish to speak to you.
ELYOT: Splendid.
AMANDA: And what's more, I never shall again as long as I live.
ELYOT: I shall endeavor to rise above it.
AMANDA: I've been brought up to believe that it's beyond
the pale for a man to strike a woman.
ELYOT: A very poor tradition. Certain women should be struck
regularly, like gongs.
AMANDA: You're an unmitigated cad, and a bully.
ELYOT: And you're an ill-mannered, bad-tempered slattern.
AMANDA [loudly]: Slattern indeed.
ELYOT: Yes, slattern, slattern, slattern, and fishwife.
VICTOR: Keep your mouth shut, you swine.
ELYOT: Mind your own damned business.
[They are about to fight, when SIBYL rushes between them.]
SIBYL: Stop, stop, it's no use going on like this. Stop, please.
[TO AMANDA] Help me, do, do, do, help me
AMANDA: I'm not going to interfere. Let them fight if they
want to; it will probably clear the air anyhow.
SIBYL: Yes but-
AMANDA: Come into my room; perhaps you'd like to wash or something.
SIBYL: No, but-
AMANDA [firmly]: Come along.
SIBYL: Very well.
[She tosses her head at ELYOT, and AMANDA drags her off.]
VICTOR [belligerently]: Now then!
ELYOT: Now then what?
VICTOR: Are you going to take back those things you said to Amanda?
ELYOT: Certainly. I'll take back anything, if only you'll stop
bellowing at me.
ELYOT: I think I'm a bit cleverer than you, but apparently
that's not saying much.
VICTOR [violently]: What?
ELYOT: Oh, do sit down.
VICTOR: I will not.
ELYOT: Well, if you'll excuse me, I will; I'm extremely tired.
[He sits down.]
VICTOR: Oh, for God's sake, behave like a man.
ELYOT [patiently]: Listen a minute, all this belligerency is very
right and proper and highly traditional, but if only you'll
think for a moment, you'll see that it won't get us very far.
VICTOR: To hell with all that.
ELYOT: I should like to explain that if you hit me, I shall
certainly hit you, probably equally bard, if not harder. I'm
just as strong as you, I should imagine. Then you'd hit me
again, and I'd hit you again, and we'd go on until one or the
other was knocked out. Now if you'll explain to me satisfactorily
how all that can possibly improve the situation, I'll tear off
my coat, and we'll go at one another hammer and tongs, immediately.
VICTOR: It would ease my mind.
ELYOT: Only if you won.
VICTOR: I should win all right.
ELYOT: Want to try?
VICTOR: Yes.
ELYOT [jumping up]: Here goes then [He tears off his coat.]
VICTOR: Just a moment.
ELYOT: Well?
VICTOR: What did you mean about them wanting us to fight?
ELYOT: It would be balm to their vanity.
VICTOR: Do you love Amanda?
ELYOT: Is this a battle or a discussion? If it's the latter I shall
put on my coat again; I don't want to catch a chill.
VICTOR: Answer my question, please.
ELYOT: Have a cigarette?
VICTOR [stormily]: Answer my question.
ELYOT: If you analyze it, it's rather a silly question.
VICTOR: Do you love Amanda?
ELYOT [confidentially]: Not very much this morning, to be
perfectly frank; I'd like to wring her neck. Do you love her?
VICTOR: That's beside the point.
ELYOT: On the contrary, it's the crux of the whole affair. If you do
love her still, you can forgive her, and live with her in peace and
harmony until you're ninety-eight.
VICTOR: You're apparently even more of a cad than I thought you
were.
ELYOT: You are completely in the right over the whole business,
don't imagine I'm not perfectly conscious of that.
VICTOR: I'm glad.
ELYOT: It's all very unfortunate.
VICTOR: Unfortunate: My God!
ELYOT: It might have been worse.
VICTOR: I'm glad you think so.
ELYOT: I do wish you'd stop about being so glad about everything.
VICTOR: What do you intend to do? That's what I want to know.
What do you intend to do?
ELYOT [suddenly serious]: I don't know, I don't care.
VICTOR: I suppose you realize that you've broken that poor little
woman's heart?
ELYOT: Which poor little woman?
VICTOR: Sibyl, of course.
ELYOT: Oh, come now, not as bad as that. She'll get over it, and
forget all about me.
VICTOR: I sincerely hope so ... for her sake.
ELYOT: Amanda will forget all about me too. Everybody will forget
all about me. I might just as well lie down and die in fearful pain
and suffering, nobody would care.
VICTOR: Don't talk such rot.
ELYOT: You must forgive me for taking rather a gloomy view of
everything but the fact is, I suddenly feel slightly depressed.
VICTOR: I intend to divorce Amanda, naming you as co-respondent.
ELYOT: Very well.
VICTOR: And Sibyl will divorce you for Amanda. It would be
foolish of either of you to attempt any defence.
ELYOT: Quite.
VICTOR: And the sooner you marry Amanda again, the better.
ELYOT: I'm not going to marry Amanda.
VICTOR: What?
ELYOT: She's a vile-tempered, wicked woman.
VICTOR: You should have thought of that before.
ELYOT: I did think of it before.
VICTOR [firmly]: You've got to marry her.
ELYOT: I'd rather marry a ravening leopard.
VICTOR [angrily]: Now look here. I'm sick of all this shilly-
shallying. You're getting off a good deal more lightly than you
deserve; you can consider yourself damned lucky I didn't shoot
you.
ELYOT [with sudden vehemence]: Well, if you'd had a spark of
manliness in you, you would have shot me. You're all fuss and
fume, one of these cotton wool Englishmen. I despise you.
VICTOR [through clenched teeth]: You despise me?
ELYOT: Yes, utterly. You're nothing but a rampaging gas bag! [He
goes off into his room and slams the door, leaving VICTOR
speechless with fury, AMANDA and SIBYL re-enter.]
AMANDA [brightly]: Well, what's happened?
VICTOR [sullenly]: Nothing's happened.
AMANDA: You ought to be ashamed to admit it.
SIBYL: Where's Elyot?
VICTOR: In there.
AMANDA: What's he doing?
VICTOR [turning angrily away]: How do I know what he's
doing?
AMANDA: If you were half the man I thought you were, he'd be
bandaging himself.
SIBYL [with defiance]: Elyot's just as strong as Victor.
AMANDA [savagely]: I should like it proved.
SIBYL: There's no need to be so vindictive.
AMANDA: You were abusing Elyot like a pickpocket to me a little
while ago, now you are standing up for him.
SIBYL: I'm beginning to suspect that he wasn't quite so much to
blame as I thought.
AMANDA: Oh, really?
SIBYL: You certainly have a very unpleasant temper.
AMANDA: It's a little difficult to keep up with your rapid
changes of front, but you're young and inexperienced, so I
forgive you freely.
SIBYL [heatedly]: Seeing the depths of degradation to which age
and experience have brought you, I'm glad I'm as I am!
AMANDA [with great grandeur]: That was exceedingly rude. I
think you'd better go away somewhere.
[She waves her hand vaguely.]
SIBYL: After all, Elyot is my husband.
AMANDA: Take him with you, by all means.
SIBYL: If you're not very careful, I will! [She goes over to ELYOT's
door and bangs on it] Elyot--Elyot--
ELYOT [inside]: What is it?
SIBYL: Let me in. Please, please let me in; I want to speak to you!
AMANDA: Heaven preserve me from nice women!
SIBYL: Your own reputation ought to do that.
AMANDA [irritably]: Oh, go to hell!
[ELYOT opens the door, and SIBYL disappears inside, AMANDA
looks at VICTOR, who is standing with his back turned, staring
out of the window, then she wanders about the room,
making rather inadequate little attempts to tidy up. She
glances at VICTOR again.]
AMANDA: Victor.
VICTOR [without turning]: What?
AMANDA [sadly]: Nothing.
[She begins to wrestle with one of the sofas in an effort to
get it in place. VICTOR turns, sees her, and comes down and
helps her, in silence.]
VICTOR: Where does it go?
AMANDA: Over there. [After they have placed it, AMANDA sits on
the edge of it and gasps a little] Thank you, Victor.
VICTOR: Don't mention it.
AMANDA [after a pause]: What did you say to Elyot?
VICTOR: I told him he was beneath contempt.
AMANDA: Good.
VICTOR: I think you must be mad, Amanda.
AMANDA: I've often thought that myself.
VICTOR: I feel completely lost, completely bewildered.
AMANDA: I don't blame you. I don't feel any too cosy.
VICTOR: Had you been drinking last night?
AMANDA: Certainly not!
VICTOR: Had Elyot been drinking?
AMANDA: Yes--gallons.
VICTOR: Used he to drink before? When you were married to him?
AMANDA: Yes, terribly. Night after night he'd come home roaring
and hiccoughing.
AMANDA [putting her hand on his arm]: Oh, Victor, I'm most
awfully sorry to have given you so much trouble, really I am!
I've behaved badly, I know, but something strange happened to
me. I can't explain it, there's no excuse, but I am ashamed of
having made you unhappy.
VICTOR: I can't understand it at all. I've tried to, but I can't.
It all seems so unlike you.
AMANDA: It isn't really unlike me, that's the trouble.
I ought never to have married you; I'm a bad lot.
VICTOR: Amanda!
AMANDA: Don't contradict me. I know I'm a bad lot.
VICTOR: I wasn't going to contradict you.
AMANDA: Victor!
VICTOR: You appal me -- absolutely!
AMANDA: Go on, go on, I deserve it.
VICTOR: I didn't come here to accuse you; there's no sense in that!
AMANDA: Why did you come?
VICTOR: To find out what you want me to do.
AMANDA: Divorce me, I suppose, as soon as possible. I won't
make any difficulties. I'll go away, far away, Morocco, or Tunis,
or somewhere. I shall probably catch some dreadful disease, and
die out there, all alone -- oh dear!
VICTOR: It's no use pitying yourself.
AMANDA: I seem to be the only one who does. I might just as
well enjoy it. [She sniffs] I'm thoroughly unprincipled; Sibyl was
right!
VICTOR [irritably]: Sibyl's an ass.
AMANDA [brightening slightly]: Yes, she is rather, isn't she? I
can't think why Elyot ever married her.
VICTOR: Do you love him?
AMANDA: She seems so insipid, somehow--
VICTOR: Do you love him?
AMANDA: Of course she's very pretty, I suppose, in rather a
shallow way, but still
VICTOR: Amanda!
AMANDA: Yes, Victor?
VICTOR: You haven't answered my question.
AMANDA: I've forgotten what it was.
VICTOR [turning away]: You're hopeless -- hopeless.
AMANDA: Don't be angry, it's all much too serious to be angry
about.
VICTOR: You're talking utter nonsense!
AMANDA: No, I'm not, I mean it. It's ridiculous for us all to stand
round arguing with one another. You'd much better go back to
England and let your lawyers deal with the whole thing.
VICTOR: But what about you?
AMANDA: I'll be all right.
VICTOR: I only want to know one thing, and you won't tell me.
AMANDA: What is it?
VICTOR: Do you love Elyot?
AMANDA: No, I hate him. When I saw him again suddenly at
Deauville, it was an odd sort of shock. It swept me away completely.
He attracted me; he always has attracted me, but only the worst part
of me. I see that now.
VICTOR: I can't understand why? He's so terribly trivial and
superficial.
AMANDA: That sort of attraction can't be explained, it's sort of a
chemical what d'you call 'em.
VICTOR: Yes; it must be!
AMANDA: I don't expect you to understand, and I'm not going to
try to excuse myself in any way. Elyot was the first love affair
of my life, and in spite of all the suffering he caused me before,
there must have been a little spark left smouldering, which burst
into flame when I came face to face with him again. I
completely lost grip of myself and behaved like a fool, for which
I shall pay all right, you needn't worry about that. But perhaps
one day, when all this is dead and done with, you and I might
meet and be friends. That's something to hope for, anyhow.
Good-bye, Victor dear.
[She holds out her hand.]
VICTOR [shaking her hand mechanically]: Do you want to
marry him?
AMANDA: I'd rather marry a boa constrictor.
VICTOR: I can't go away and leave you with a man who drinks,
and knocks you about.
AMANDA: You needn't worry about leaving me, as though I were
a sort of parcel. I can look after myself.
VICTOR: You said just now you were going away to Tunis, to die.
AMANDA: I've changed my mind, it's the wrong time of the year
for Tunis. I shall go somewhere quite different. I believe Brioni
is very nice in the summer.
VICTOR: Why won't you be serious for just one moment?
AMANDA: I've told you, it's no use.
VICTOR: If it will make things any easier for you, I won't divorce
you.
AMANDA: Victor!
VICTOR: We can live apart until Sibyl has got her decree against
Elyot, then, some time after that, I'll let you divorce me. AMANDA [turning away]: I see you're determined to make me serious,
whether I like it or not.
VICTOR: I married you because I loved you.
AMANDA: Stop it, Victor! Stop it! I won't listen!
VICTOR: I expect I love you still; one doesn't change all in a minute. You
never loved me. I see that now, of course, so perhaps everything has
turned out for the best really.
AMANDA: I thought I loved you, honestly I did.
VICTOR: Yes, I know, that's all right.
AMANDA: What an escape you've had.
VICTOR: I've said that to myself often during the last few days.
AMANDA: There's no need to rub it in.
VICTOR: Do you agree about the divorce business?
AMANDA: Yes. It's very, very generous of you.
VICTOR: It will save you some of the mud-slinging. We might persuade
Sibyl not to name you.
AMANDA [ruefully]: Yes, we might.
VICTOR: Perhaps she'll change her mind about divorcing him.
AMANDA: Perhaps. She certainly went into the bedroom with a
predatory look in her eye.
VICTOR: Would you be pleased if that happened?
AMANDA: Delighted.
[She laughs suddenly. VICTOR looks at her, curiously. SIBYL and ELYOT come out of the bedroom. There is an awkward silence for a
moment.]
SIBYL [looking at AMANDA triumphantly]: Elyot and I have come to a
decision.
AMANDA: How very nice!
VICTOR: What is it?
AMANDA: Don't be silly, Victor. Look at their faces.
ELYOT: Feminine intuition, very difficult.
AMANDA [looking at SIBYL]: Feminine determination, very
praiseworthy.
SIBYL: I am not going to divorce Elyot for a year.
AMANDA: I congratulate you.
ELYOT [defiantly]: Sibyl has behaved like an angel.
AMANDA: Well, it was certainly her big moment.
[LOUISE comes staggering in with a large tray of coffee and rolls,
etc., she stands peering over the edge of it, not knowing where to put it.]
ELYOT: Il faut le mettre sur la petite table la bas.
LOUISE: Oui, monsieur.
[ELYOT and VICTOR hurriedly clear the things off the side table, and LOUISE puts the tray down, and goes back into the kitchen. AMANDA
and SIBYL eye one another.]
AMANDA: It all seems very amicable.
SIBYL: It is, thank you.
AMANDA: I don't wish to depress you, but Victor isn't going to divorce
me either.
ELYOT [looking up sharply]: What!
AMANDA: I believe I asked you once before this morning, never to
speak to me again.
ELYOT: I only said "What." It was a general exclamation denoting
extreme satisfaction.
AMANDA [politely to SIBYL]: Do sit down, won't you?
SIBYL: I'm afraid I must be going now. I'm catching the Golden Arrow; it
leaves at twelve.
ELYOT [coaxingly]: You have time for a little coffee surely?
SIBYL: No, I really must go!
ELYOT: I shan't be seeing you again for such a long time.
AMANDA [brightly]: Living apart? How wise!
ELYOT [ignoring her]: Please, Sibyl, do stay!
SIBYL [looking at AMANDA with a glint in her eye]: Very well, just for
a little.
AMANDA: Sit down, Victor, darling. [They all sit down in silence. AMANDA smiles sweetly at SIBYL and holds up the coffee pot and milk
jug] Half and half?
SIBYL: Yes, please.
AMANDA [sociably]: What would one do without one's morning
coffee? That's what I often ask myself.
ELYOT: Is it?
AMANDA [withering him with a look]: Victor, sugar for Sibyl. [To SIBYL] It should be absurd for me to call you anything but Sibyl,
wouldn't it?
SIBYL [not to be outdone]: Of course; I shall call you Mandy.
[AMANDA represses a shudder.]
ELYOT: Oh God! We're off again. What weather!
[AMANDA hands SIBYL her coffee.]
SIBYL: Thank you.
VICTOR: What's the time?
ELYOT: If the clock's still going after last night, it's ten-fifteen.
AMANDA [handing VICTOR cup of coffee]: Here, Victor dear.
VICTOR: Thanks.
AMANDA: Sibyl, sugar for Victor.
ELYOT: I should like some coffee, please.
[AMANDA pours some out for him, and hands it to him in silence.]
AMANDA [to VICTOR]: Brioche?
VICTOR [jumping]: What?
AMANDA: Would you like a brioche?
VICTOR: No, thank you.
ELYOT: I would. And some butter, and some jam. [He helps himself.]
AMANDA [to SIBYL]: Have you ever been to Brioni?
SIBYL: No. It's in the Adriatic, isn't it?
VICTOR: The Baltic, I think.
SIBYL: I made sure it was in the Adriatic.
AMANDA: I had an aunt who went there once.
ELYOT [with his mouth full]: I once had an aunt who went to Tasmania.
[AMANDA looks at him stonily. He winks at her, and she looks away
hurriedly. ]
VICTOR: Funny how the South of France has become so
fashionable in the summer, isn't it?
SIBYL: Yes, awfully funny.
ELYOT: I've been laughing about it for months.
AMANDA: Personally, I think it's a bit too hot, although of
course one can lie in the water all day.
SIBYL: Yes, the bathing is really divine!
VICTOR: A friend of mine has a house right on the edge of
Cape Ferrat.
SIBYL: Really?
VICTOR: Yes, right on the edge.
AMANDA: That must be marvellous!
VICTOR: Yes, he seems to like it very much.
[The conversation languishes slightly.]
AMANDA [with great vivacity]: Do you know, I really think I
love travelling more than anything else in the world! It always
gives me such a tremendous feeling of adventure. First of all,
the excitement of packing, and getting your passport visa'd
and everything, then the thrill of actually starting, and trundling
along on trains and ships, and then the most thrilling thing of all,
arriving at strange places, and seeing strange people, and eating
strange foods
ELYOT: And making strange noises afterwards.
[AMANDA chokes violently. VICTOR jumps up and tries to offer
assistance, but she waves him away, and continues to choke.]
VICTOR [to ELYOT]: That was a damned fool thing to do.
ELYOT: How did I know she was going to choke?
VICTOR [to AMANDA]: Here, drink some coffee.
AMANDA [breathlessly gasping]: Leave me alone. I'll be all right in a
minute.
VICTOR [to ELYOT]: You waste too much time trying to be funny.
SIBYL [up in arms]: It's no use talking to Elyot like that; it wasn't his
fault.
VICTOR: Of course it was his fault entirely, making rotten stupid jokes
SIBYL: I thought what Elyot said was funny.
VICTOR: Well, all I can say is, you must have a very warped sense of
humor.
SIBYL: That's better than having none at all.
VICTOR: I fail to see what humor there is in incessant trivial flippancy.
SIBYL: You couldn't be flippant if you tried until you were blue in the
face.
VICTOR: I shouldn't dream of trying.
SIBYL: It must be very sad not to be able to see any fun in anything.
[AMANDA stops choking, and looks at ELYOT. He winks at her
again, and she smiles.]
VICTOR: Fun! I should like you to tell me what fun there is in--
SIBYL: I pity you, I really do. I've been pitying you ever since we left
Deauville.
VICTOR: I'm sure it's very nice of you, but quite unnecessary.
SIBYL: And I pity you more than ever now.
VICTOR: Why now particularly?
SIBYL: If you don't see why, I'm certainly not going to tell you.
VICTOR: I see no reason for you to try to pick a quarrel with me. I've tried
my best to be pleasant to you, and comfort you.
SIBYL: You weren't very comforting when I lost my trunk.
VICTOR: I have little patience with people who go about losing luggage.
SIBYL: I don't go about losing luggage. It's the first time I've lost
anything in my life.
VICTOR: I find that hard to believe.
SIBYL: Anyhow, if you'd tipped the porter enough, everything would
have been all right. Small economies never pay; it's absolutely no use--
VICTOR: Oh, for God's sake be quiet!
[AMANDA lifts her hand as though she were going to interfere,
but ELYOT grabs her wrist. They look at each other for a moment,
she lets her hand rest in his.]
SIBYL [rising from the table]: How dare you speak to me like that!
VICTOR [also rising]: Because you've been irritating me for days.
SIBYL [outraged]: Oh!
VICTOR [coming down to her]: You're one of the most completely idiotic
women I've ever met.
SIBYL: And you're certainly the rudest man I've ever met!
VICTOR: Well then, we're quits, aren't we?
SIBYL [shrilly]: One thing, you'll get your deserts all right.
VICTOR: What do you mean by that?
SIBYL: You know perfectly well what I mean. And it'll serve you right
for being weak-minded enough to allow that woman to get round you
so easily.
VICTOR: What about you? Letting that unprincipled roue persuade you
to take him back again!
[AMANDA and ELYOT are laughing silently. ELYOT blows her a
lingering kiss across the table.]
SIBYL: He's nothing of the sort, he's just been victimized, as you were
victimized.
VICTOR: Victimized! What damned nonsense!
SIBYL [furiously]: It isn't damned nonsense! You're very fond of
swearing and blustering and threatening, but when it comes to the
point you're as weak as water. Why, a blind cat could see what you've
let yourself in for.
VICTOR [equally furious]: Stop making those insinuations.
SIBYL: I'm not insinuating anything. When I think of all the things you
said about her, it makes me laugh, it does really; to see how completely
she's got you again.
VICTOR: You can obviously speak with great authority, having had the
intelligence to marry a drunkard.
SIBYL: So that's what she's been telling you. I might have known it! I
suppose she said he struck her, too!
VICTOR: Yes, she did, and I'm quite sure it's perfectly true.
SIBYL: I expect she omitted to tell you that she drank fourteen glasses
of brandy last night straight off; and that the reason their first marriage
was broken up was that she used to come home at all hours of the night,
screaming and hiccoughing.
VICTOR: If he told you that, he's a filthy liar.
SIBYL: He isn't--he isn't!
VICTOR: And if you believe it, you're a silly scatterbrained little fool.
SIBYL [screaming]: How dare you speak to me like that! How dare you!
I've never been so insulted in my life! How dare you!
[AMANDA and ELYOT rise quietly, and go, hand in hand, towards
the front door.]
VICTOR [completely giving way]: It's a tremendous relief to me to have an
excuse to insult you. I've had to listen to your weeping and wailings for
days. You've clacked at me, and snivelled at me until you've nearly
driven me insane and I controlled my nerves and continued to try to
help you and look after you, because I was sorry for you. I always thought
you were stupid from the first, but I must say I never realized that you
were a malicious little vixen as well!
SIBYL [shrieking]: Stop it! Stop it! You insufferable great brute!
[She slaps his face hard, and he takes her by the shoulders and
shakes her like a rat, as AMANDA and ELYOT go smilingly out of
the door, with their suitcases, and--]
Alan Rickman as Elyot |
Рецензия DV |
Перевод на русский (М. Мишин)
